Bad Memories
by Reader-Writer-Animator
Summary: Storms are rare but harsh in the desert town of Jasper.


**So, I was looking at some Ratchet/Arcee stuff, and happened upon a one shot about thunder, which, no offense to the writer, didn't really satisfy my idea of the pairing. So I decided to write my own version. Then again, I honestly don't like mine very much either. Meh. Anyway, I decided to post it 'cause the world needs more Ratchet/Arcee. (Though this could technically also be taken as friendship if you don't ship them.)**

 **I don't own no stuff.**

 **Enjoy.**

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He heard a low keening. Actually, he should have guessed that she would be affected. They all were, of course, but Bumblebee, Bulkhead and Optimus had the option of getting out of the base by going on patrol. He did not, being the medic. Neither did Arcee, as badly injured as she was. Thunderstorms did not visit Jasper often, but when they did, they brought bad memories. Those who could were keen to escape.

Her keening could be heard over the moan of the wind, which was so loud that he could hear it even through the thick walls of the missile silo. Ratchet frowned, quickly glancing at the monitors. Her sparkrate was low but rising. She was in recharge, most likely having a nightmare. He knew that Arcee would have never have vocalized her pain while conscious.

Boom.

Then a whistle, streaking above him, the shot had just missed, they needed to run for cover-

Ratchet shook himself. No. He was on earth, not in Protihex.

Boom.

Every time he heard the thunder, it was more difficult to convince himself of where he was, that he was safe. The sound was too familiar. His digits paused and hovered above the keys as he tried to quell the feeling that he needed to hide.

Boom. Shaaa...

The rain increased, and so did his misery. Eventually, he gave up on the code he was writing and decided to check on his patient. The keening had stopped. He stared at the monitor, no longer comprehending the meaning of the lines and numbers. He was in two places at once, reeling with fear and the effort of trying to fight that fear.

Boom.

"Ratchet."

He was in Protihex again, there were bombs going off everywhere, the 'Cons didn't care even if they were only bombing the wounded. Bits of shrapnel rained down on him from an explosion a mere ten mechanometers away-

"Ratchet."

He shuttered his optics several times.

Shaaa...

"Ratchet, sit down."

He turned towards his patient, who was wide awake and sitting up. He staggered towards the medical berth and sat down heavily.

"You were about to fall. Are you okay?"

He gave Arcee a sharp look. "Are you okay?"

There was silence, covered only by the constant beat of the rain. He leaned back against the wall adjacent the berth, and covered his helm with his servos.

"I'm sorry. It was a stupid question."

"It was Protihex and the Decepticons had just received orders to raze the city..." He said abruptly. "There were bombs and mines going off, rockets just missing you by a wire's breadth...shrapnel flying everywhere...'Bots offlining one after the other, before I could even reach them...buildings collapsing..." He vented deeply, shuddering. "My hometown...became the Pit."

Arcee covered his large worn digits with her smaller ones, and they turned to accept her servo of their own accord.

Boom.

He trembled. Arcee lightly squeezed his digits. He was back on the base. Her touch rooted him. He was safe. For now. He hoped to Primus that he would never have to face such a thing again.

Shaaa...

He looked towards the main screen. He knew that he should get back to his work. He slowly pulled away from the wall, as though afraid that he might collapse.

"No. Please." Arcee winced as she moved her injured pede. "Sit with me..."

She also needed a distraction. He leaned back, grateful to have a reason not to be practical and get back to his work because it wasn't going to do itself. He could stay and pretend not to be weak enough to want to stay, but to be sitting there because she needed him. "If..." He said slowly, "If the war hypothetically ended, do you think you could go back to normal?"

Arcee smiled at him, but it came out more like a grimace. "Fully...? No." He nodded stiffly. That was all he'd wanted to know: he wasn't alone in being weak. Arcee squeezed his digits again, as though she knew what he was thinking.

Boom.

"But it feels like war will never end." Arcee admitted, pulling him out of his thoughts."We've been fighting for so long...I can't really imagine anything else. It feels like it will just go on and on and on..."

"What we need," said Ratchet suddenly, "Is an Optimus Pep Talk." Arcee grinned. "Unfortunately, he's done a runner as well, so there's nothing we can do about that. And I'm glad." She added, glancing away moodily. "It's not like there's anything that he could say about it."

Ratchet sighed. "What we really need," Arcee continued, "Is for all this to end."

BOOM.

It made Ratchet jump and Arcee panic. She shrieked and tried to twist off the berth, which didn't work out well with only one good pede. He got up immediately and helped her off the floor. She was quaking, and he could see the fragility that she normally kept hidden under the surface rise in her optics as they darted around. Up till now, he realised, she had been doing such a good job of faking calm that even he had relaxed.

He helped her sit properly on the berth, then sat beside her and draped a servo over her shoulder plates. No further encouragement was needed; military protocols and general awkwardness could go to the Pit. She leaned into him, accepting his odd one armed hug. "What do you see?" He asked softly.

There was only the shaaa... sound of heavy rain. He couldn't tell whether it was because she hesitated to let the last of her walls down, or because she was too shaken to answer. Maybe a bit of both, but he waited patiently.

After a long time, she answered in almost a whisper. "I go back... I go back to that moment, when there were shots flying overhead and I thought I was safe, that we'd meet back up even if we'd gotten separated... Then that one-"

BOOM.

"-that one shot, and I was captured and then they knocked me unconscious and took me-took me to her-and then I waited, for so long, until Airachnid finally showed..."

Ratchet gripped her servo tightly. She shifted closer to him.

BOOM. The lights went out.

"Scrap." They both said at once, then gave each other nervous smiles indicated only by the curve of their optics.

To his surprise, she curled up into his side, taking extra care with her injured pede. "I remember when we first came here to earth, 'Bee used to go up on the roof almost every night. He'd say that he was trying to find Cybertron. Cliff and I, and sometimes Bulkhead, we'd join him and share memories and stories." said Arcee softly. "Then, when Cliff died, 'Bee just gave up. Stopped looking."

She shifted slightly and he adjusted his servo so that it was lying over her helm. He rubbed her helm gently and she leaned into his touch. He couldn't do much, but at least he could offer comfort where it was needed. "I'm afraid that we'll have to do the same some day." She admitted. "Give up, and make our peace with it."

"Run away in order to live."

"Yeah. Except I know that no matter where we go, the Decepticons will just come after us."

He vented heavily in response. "I know."

Shaaa...

"I want to go home." He admitted suddenly, feeling stupid. Of course he wanted to go home, they all wanted to go home. Earth - no matter how interesting or familiar or even home-like - would never be Cybertron. "I know." She nuzzled into his side. He continued to rub her helm.

Boom.

They both jumped, but neither was disturbed any more. They had found that sense of security that they'd been looking for. For now.

For now, they'd be alright.

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 **Please review and tell me if you liked it! (Or if you didn't.) Any shippers out there? In my mind, they have some kind of affection for each other, but would never admit it unless they were somehow forced to do so. Either that, or when Ratchet comes back to Cybertron, she pulls him closer in the backseat of her rover. ;)**


End file.
